"Just" one

I found myself over the past few years repeating the same phrase over and over again... "just one." I had become the very thing I found annoying before I had a child, but wanted one more than anything, when someone would saw they had "just one" child. I used to think, "why are you saying 'just' ? Do you know how lucky you are to have one?" but somewhere between having Emilia, and wanting, but not having more children, that little annoying word unfortunately crept into my vocabulary and I used it with frequency when I was asked how many children I had. I remember very distinctively a conversation I had with my brother in law, Markus, while sitting at his house one evening when Emilia was 3, and his 3rd kiddo, Lily was the same age. He was talking about being responsible for a family, and the stress that can take on making sure your children were taken care of financially, etc...  I don't recall what I said, but it was his response that stuck with me, when he replied, "Ya, but you are lucky you have JUST one kid ..." There is was... that little annoying word. Little did he know that it took everything in me to not cry when my friends were announcing their pregnancies, or better yet to not be resentful to those complaining about their "accidental" pregnancies because there was nothing I wanted more than to have more children.  Soon after your toddler becomes a bit independent, people you know start asking the question of when you will be having another, and I always said something to the effect that we were enjoying Emilia, or I was finishing grad school, or something to make an excuse for my uterus not being currently used, and then people eventually stop asking because they have already heard your answer a thousand times, and either believe you, or caught you on a hormonal day and made you cry at work (nope... never happened to me!). But then I began a new job, and a common question is if you have children, and if so, how many, to which I answered "just one" every time I am sure. This week Emilia and I watched Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (Fore warning: this is where the real rambling begins) and all of this hit me while watching this with her, and the girl, played by Natalie Portman, called the guy, Henry, I think?, a "just guy." When he asks her what that is, she replies something to the effect of it being a guy that looks like him, wears shoes like him, and no matter what anyone says, will think a bench is just a bench and this toy store is JUST a toy store... its just that and nothing more. Then later in the movie, there was "just" a block of wood, that ended up bringing the store back to life... OK, so that was a quick summary and I am sure is not clarifying where I am going with this, but I am getting there- I had totally become one of those annoying "Just" people! I have spent the last 5 years with my "just" one little amazing girl, but spent too much time focusing on the fact that I did only have 1 child, instead of realizing how much I have enjoyed being a mom to one. Being an only child for 5 years, Emilia is quite the little adult and shares my taste in music as well as art... because I have had just one kiddo, at the age of 4, she could identify Picasso's artwork when compared to that of Monet, because she loved going to the art museum as much as I did. Because I had just one child to teach the past 5 years, I have a child who can carry on a full conversation with you about animal hibernation and migration patterns, photosynthesis, metamorphosis, gardening, and many other topics that you don't always have time for when there are 4 children under the age of 5 (I am picking this example because it's what I originally had planned)... now I am not saying anything about those families who chose to have large families or children close together, because I would have been just as happy had either of these been an option for us, but what I am saying is I am so grateful for the past 5 years of having only Emilia, and the only thing "just" about her, is just how amazing she is and just what a wonderful big sister she will be!



Hannah

I have no idea where the time went, but some how my beautiful little niece, Hannah, has grown into a beautiful young girl, who happens to be a talented ballerina! She turns 11 this month, and I cannot figure out where the time has gone! Unfortunately her real performances don't allow cameras, but I was able to take a few (OK... 678 to be exact) at her open practice last month!

We really enjoyed getting to watch her, and hopefully didn't embarass her too much with the endless picture taking!

Time flies when your having fun!

I honestly thought my next posting was going to be pictures of our new addition, but looks like I am ahead of the game! Here's our last 5 months...

 This photo is proof I have no idea what goes on when I am not home... I found this when downloading photos off my camera... not sure I want to know!

 September 15th I took boards, and thankfully passed, but many people ask how I studied with Emilia home with me....

 This is how! My friend, Ashlynn, who I met at Children's Mercy, was also studying for boards with her sweet little baby, Greenlee, so we let Emilia practice her big sister skills while we studied... oh, but Emilia did not know the big news yet!

Greenlee looks a bit concerned here! 

Once boards were over, we spent alot of time celebrating, which meant alot of dinners out, more specifically on the plaza at PF Changs, because being that there were now 2 pregnant sisters AGAIN (me and Heather) with the same craving for lettuce wraps, we used any excuse we could find to eat there! Emilia and Hudson did not mind in the least, and please excuse Emilia's outfit, she now dresses herself...

 We were so lucky to have beautiful fall weather to enjoy some time at the KC zoo, unfortunately it was so bright out Emilia had to find shade behind the polar bear's bum!

Then came Octoberfest... we usually go in the evening, but this time we opted to go in the morning, and start the day with some yummy breakfast in downtown Lee's Summit. Emilia's cousin, Lily joined us for the occasion!

                                                                 Decorating pumpkins!

 No Fall would be complete without a trip to the pumpkin patch ... here's Emilia and her friend, Kate...

And then begins the search for the PERFECT pumpkin......

 The pumpkins were a bit picked over this year, hence this picture of her in the middle of the field surrounded by only green... no pumpkins! We eventually found one, though!

 Emilia and Lily

 Emilia and her best bud Josh

And what trip to the pumpkin patch would be complete without the yearly- how-big-am-I photo op?

We took several trips to the petting zoo, and this one happened to be with Emilia's little friend Bella...

Emilia had a BIG week, and lost her 1st and 2nd tooth in 1 week!

This was the morning after she lost her 1st tooth, you can see the missing tooth if you can get past the spinach shake she has all over her face!

We also had a really exciting October with the addition of my new nephew, Callum Bennet Baillie. He came a few weeks early, and ended up wanting to visit his moms work, which is also unfortunately the NICU, but he was in good hands (that's Emilia's friend, Bella's mamma, Saxton who also works there!)

Proud new big brother and sister checking him out!

He had a few minutes to snuggle before going upstairs to the ICN

but when your chest xray looks like this....

you do not get to stay with the "well babies"...

It was really nice to finally have him home, though, where there were lots of people waiting to get the chance to snuggle him as well!

We made lots of new friends, one pictured below! I am not sure whether is was the mild fall we had or what, but we founds lots of turtles, frogs and snakes that were fun to play with...

On the last day of the local farmer's market, we stocked up on Beth (AKA The Bread Lady)'s goodies, which happen to freeze well, and this way we can enjoy her pumpkin cream cheese muffins all winter long... okay, so truthfully only lasted a few weeks, but it was a great idea!

#1 customer right here!

SO I try to feed Emilia only the healthiest organic foods, because then I don't feel so bad when I find photos like this that happened at my sister's house, while I obviously was not there! Spinach shake for breakfast, human sundae for afternoon snack!

ANd then I wonder why my daughter is topless to hold her new baby cousin, but then I realize this was after a trip to the petting zoo, and Emilia did not want to share the animal germs with her new baby cousin... makes sense!

Christmas was fun this year, and included 2 nutcracker ballets, once of which my niece performed in, and several other fun Christmas performances. Below is the donkey Emilia wanted to meet from one of the Christmas plays.

Hannah did an amazing job as usual in her ballet...

And Callum spent his time over the holidays growing these chubby cheeks, and wondering why my belly was growing faster than his was!

Time for gingerbread houses...

And Christmas parties with friends and family...
here Emilia is pretending to be the cookie greeter at my sister's Christmas Eve party, which Aunt Tammy seemed to be enjoying!

Christmas Eve Emilia opened up her new jammies...

And no, it was not just the yummy holiday food that made me in need of new pants, but instead Christmas marked me reaching my 3rd trimester.. this pregnancy literally flew by! 

Christmas morning, Emilia got her 1st American Girl doll (with matching jammies, of course)

And her new doll needed a bed to sleep in! And this is one of the many reasons why I have been banned (by Chris) from the American Girl store... for now!

This is the first year Emilia has wanted to buy and wrap all her own gifts for Chris and I, and when I saw the work she put into each one, it made them hard to open! But we opened them to find things we never realized we wanted... but I have gotten much use out of my back scratcher, Emilia!

And with the welcoming of the new year we are all looking forward to welcoming our new little one into the family in March!!