frustrating progress

So the past two days I have woke up and felt more and more of my hand, and today I can officially feel mostly all my fingers… just not the tip of my pointer finger, but who really needs to feel the tip of their left pointer? Right? I am so grateful that I have already seen progress with the steroid injections, and while my muscles are still overwhelmingly weak, I thought at least being able to feel my hand would raise my spirits... yet I have found today one of my most frustrating days throughout this whole process. Why? It’s easy to not use a hand and arm you can’t feel, but today I could feel it, which makes it frustrating that it just isn’t working right… especially when you try to use it out of habit… I mean we’ve been together for 30 years, and I have found it quite a reliable left hand and arm! My greatest weakness right now is in my upper arm and shoulder muscle, which sounds like no huge deal, until you go to reach across your dishwasher to put away dishes and lean on that arm, and almost face plant right on the countertop… when my hand was numb I never would have done that, but it is hard to REMEMBER that the arm you can now feel still isn’t working. I have had many close calls like this today, and have just been plain frustrated. Then I get frustrated at myself for not being more grateful, and on goes the circle! To top things off, I accidentally left my heating pad I have been sleeping with on high and burnt my shoulder where the cover slipped off… ouch! SO now that I have rattled off my frustrations… things I am thankful for today…

1. I can feel most my arm and hand.
2. I had a wonderful time at lunch with my dad today.
3. Today is the best I have felt yet and least pain I have been in since all of this happened.
4. Emilia did so many sweet things that brought such joy to my heart today, from helping me make the bed to just encouraging me with her kind works. She told me today, “Mama, even if your arm never works again, you will still be the best mama, and if you want to have another baby, I will carry it around so you don’t hurt your shoulder!”
5. I began a new Bible Study today that I am super excited about.
6. It was so nice to see the sun today.

Here's to hoping for a less frustrating day tomorrow!